How do I do this?
How do I write a blog?
I’m torn between feelings of excitement and impending doom. I have toyed with starting a blog, such a fashion statement nowadays, but have never truly committed. Well, “why now? Why this sperm?” (Legally Blonde) Truth is, I’m sad (hard to believe after that ever-so-clever quotation, I know). But seriously. I moved away from home recently into what has turned out to be a startlingly different environment, and I am having a lot of trouble coping. The cliché things have happened to me: homesick, weight gain, confusion. But recently it has been changing: I am no longer sad occasionally, I am sad all the time. It takes enormous amounts of effort to get out of bed and go to class. I keep getting these sinking feelings that my friends all just tolerate me and truly wish I was gone. Even my boyfriend has mentioned my emotional turn for the worse. This weekend I had a sort of cathartic moment with him on the way to a friend’s house after watching Manchester by the Sea (incidentally, it’s a must see. I’ll elaborate on a movie review blog). All of my pent-up emotions poured out, literally and figuratively. I don’t feel whole, I don’t feel like I am me. I am an English major who doesn’t write or read anymore. I have a passion for movies but recently have consistently fallen asleep during all of them! I love the ocean and sailing but live inland surrounded by trees and no horizon. Where am I? Where did I go? It is here, on this blog, that I hope to find my way back. I sincerely hope this blog will be a constant that I can count on, a prevalence in my life and yours, if you’re out there.